When you are in love, you and the person you are in love with is far away, it can be hard. Long distance love is actually becoming more prevalent with couples that travel, work or both abroad. These couples may have been traveling when they met or they may have been offered a dream opportunity later in the relationship.
The truth is, long distance relationships, like all relationships come in many shapes and sizes. There are challenges to maintaining a long distance relationship to the satisfaction of both partners. The following are a few guidelines to help you cope when your love is a great distance apart from you for work, life or other related reasons.
Making a Go of It
First and foremost, there is the decision that you have to make about whether you even want to attempt to make a go of a long distance relationship. Sure, if you’re already involved and/or married, you are more than likely to decide to make a go of it.
In my experience, my husband has traveled many times because of his job. At one point he was out of town for three months, with only one weekend break back at home. At other times, such as when we were relocating, I’ve gone ahead of him by as much as four to six weeks and sometimes longer.
Being that far away from someone you love is tough. It’s not just the physical distance, because that is hard enough to cope with, but the emotional void that you can only fill when you speak to them a few times during the day or perhaps chat with them online. By the end of all of these days apart that we have shared, we were literally ready to do anything to be in the same place again.
Recently, he was offered a position in another state. They told him it would be a six to ten month contract. They would pay for everything for him if he wanted to stay in an apartment or a hotel, though they wouldn’t cover relocation for the family. We discussed it and despite the fact that it was a great offer and good money – we weren’t up to a ten-month separation of our family.
Making It Work
If you do decide to make a go of a long-distance relationship, whether in the short-term or long-term, there are three key things to remember.
The first being, the less you see of each other, the more you need to hear from each other. Communication is vital in all relationships, but when you and your partner are physically distant from each other – communication is often your only source of intimacy.
The second thing to do is to focus on trust. You aren’t there to keep an eye on each other, so it’s easy to let self-doubt creep in. It’s important to pay extra special attention to each other whether it’s cards, gifts or flowers or just being focused on affectionate remarks. You need that trust embedded in your communication.
Finally, the third thing is to be reliable. You can make a call schedule such as touching base every night before bed, talking every morning over coffee and emails constantly throughout the day. But it’s important to stick to that schedule. You need to be where you say you are going to be and call when you say you are going to call.
Of course, there will always be exceptions and you have to make allowances for that – but it’s important to touch base as soon as possible if you miss a call or check in with each other. Together, communication, reliability and trust can help most couples weather the time spent apart and keep their love growing long distance and up close.
Have you had to handle a long distance relationship?
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