As parents, we all lose it sometimes, especially when we are parents of preschoolers. I know that we’ve all watched other people lose it, and inwardly we say, “No way would I do that. I wouldn’t drag my kid out of the store by her (insert body part here).” And then one dark day, you do.
My trigger is constant whining, and my daughter seems to be perfecting the art as of late. After four days of solo parenting in the summer heat and four days of nearly constant whining, my daughter was screaming at my from the bedroom upstairs. She was ordering me to get something for her. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and let out a howl that probably scared the neighbors. Then I felt much better.
The best one was when my daughter had just turned three. We were in a local department store looking for new underpants for her. We had to pass the purse section. My daughter has long been obsessed with purses. She saw a pink shiny one that she wanted. I did not have the money for it. She grabbed it and held on. I decided to bail on the shopping trip and headed for the door. She was still carrying the purse, and I could not get through the door because we would have to pay for the purse. I tried to reason with her at the door of the store, and this did not work. She started screaming and pounding her feet. The old ladies beside us looked at me in horror. I sat there for a while, but the tantrum was taking forever. Finally, she loosened her grip on the purse, I grabbed it from her, threw it on top of the closest shopping cart, and left the store with my daughter tucked under my arm. It was a stellar parenting moment.
How can you avoid the mommy meltdown? When we’re having a hard day, I do try to reconnect in a fun or a quiet way. We stop and read books on the couch. I try to fulfill daughter’s basic needs: sleep, hunger, thirst, bathroom. When any of those is not filled, she’s whiny.
Be gentle with yourself too. Sometimes you need a break. My meltdowns occur when I am parenting alone for days with no break at all. If you can’t have a break for an hour or two, lock yourself in the bathroom for a minute until you have calmed down. I find that a treat helps me. Perhaps it’s an ice cream for the two of you, or a summer fruit or chocolate that you secret away. I also try to look after my own basic needs, because if I am hungry, thirsty, tired and need to use the bathroom, I whine too.
Good luck with the summer heat and persevering through your mommy meltdowns.
Image courtesy of jepthe at stock exchange