In movies and novels, we always see widows paging through love letters from ages past. These letters become treasures to hold onto in their later years. As a genealogist, I love the copies (of the copies) of my great-great-grandfather’s letters to his wife-to-be and, in later years, to his wife. While I appreciate the speed and immediacy that comes with technology – if my husband were away at war, for instance, I would vastly prefer the relatively instantaneous communication of email versus the regular post office – handwritten letters take more time and require more thought, thus creating lasting family treasures.
Those of us who live with our spouses have little need for old fashioned letters, and those who live far have little desire. And yet, as we approach the ‘season’ where family newsletters are the custom, I wonder if it might be the time to consider a new resolution to go with the new year. While we may well stay in close contact with our spouse and even our parents, what of our grandparents?
Perhaps an appropriate Sunday activity to consider is to sit down once a month and write each of your grandparents. And if you don’t call your parents as often as they might like, they, too, might appreciate a letter; in fact, they might appreciate it even if you do speak with them frequently. You have the opportunity to include not only news but also letters and pictures from your children, letters and pictures which will change over the years. After all, what you consider ‘important’ enough for a letter probably isn’t the same as what your kids want to share. And you can think of it as an investment. By instilling this habit in your children now, you increase your chances of receiving mail in your golden years.
Handwritten letters are great from an emotional perspective, but don’t be afraid to let technology lend a hand, especially if you decide to write to everyone’s grandparents. (Assuming all sets are living, that would be six couples, six individual letters.) You can use a computer to keep the information about your family the same (much like a holiday letter) and change questions or messages unique to the receivers.
And depending on the recipients, you may score a genealogical coup – letters in return. I advise not counting on it; although I wrote both sets of grandparents through college, I only received one letter in return. Any hints I dropped while on the phone resulted in protests of how boring their lives were, how they did the same thing every day. The one letter I did receive, however, came in response to a question asked about my grandmother’s family tree. I now have the names and birth dates, and in many cases death dates, of all her siblings, penned in her own hand. I only wish I had more of these gems!
Writing letters to grandparents and great-grandparents is a simple yet effective gift you can give them, and a great way to show you care. You will be amazed at how much joy you can share with a piece of paper, an envelope, and a stamp. At the same time, you can ensure your children develop a closer relationship with older relatives who love and treasure them dearly.
Related Articles:
Create A Family Book
Family & Marriage: Grandparents Day