Mother’s Day is just a few short days away and I wanted to take a few moments to remind husbands that it’s a day to make the moms in your life feel special – this means all moms:
- Your Mom
- Your Wife’s Mom
- Your Wife (even if she’s just pregnant with your first child)
- Your sister who’s a mom
- All moms
Something happens to wives when they become moms. Sometimes, it’s hard for husbands to cope with this. The change of a husband into a father is a far more subtle transition. Perhaps it’s because Dads have the luxury of time to make that change. Mom has just nine months from when the stick turns pink to becoming a mom who gives up her sleep, her free time and her choices to care for her little one.
Sacrifice is Normal
I know a lot of first time parents will complain about the sacrifices they made – whether it’s financially or in luxury and free time. They will list all the things they gave up because baby #1 came along and then baby #2 – but the truth is, that’s what being a mom and a dad is about. It’s what being a parent is about.
You’re going to be a great mom. You’re already doing it. You’re making those choices, you’re giving up things. I don’t know if I could give up stuff the way you do
We sacrifice. We make choices. We decide that it’s more important to make sure we have baby biscuits than it is to pick up that pack of English Muffins. We choose that beautiful baby layette set rather than those brightly colored Capri’s. That’s what it means to be a parent. We sacrifice what we may want to do or have time to do – to our kids.
It’s Scary
Being a mom is a phenomenal experience, I remember when we were pregnant with our daughter. My husband used to blow off conversations about what we would do after the baby was born. He was very firm in saying he wouldn’t change a diaper and he would leave most of that decision making to me. When I pointed this out to him, he admitted that he was scared. Being a dad scared the heck out of him.
What would happen if we didn’t have enough money? What if we made mistakes? He didn’t know how to be a dad – was he just going to hopelessly turn this little girl or boy’s life upside down? I admit, I laughed, though I did sympathize with him.
I told him I was scared, too. He snorted and said, “You’re going to be a great mom. You’re already doing it. You’re making those choices, you’re giving up things. I don’t know if I could give up stuff the way you do.”
But he did. No, he didn’t sacrifice the same things, he didn’t have to. But he made other changes. When he held our little girl for the first time, his eyes melted and he went from being this stiff, terrified man into this dad, filled with wonder.
As a mom, there is no more wonderful vision than seeing the man you love fall in love with the child you made together.
Moms Get Scared, Too
We do. We worry that we’re going to make mistakes. We worry that we lose our temper. We feel bad if we yell. We feel really bad when we miss something because we were tired or we were impatient. Moms have just nine months to get their groove on and then – years to make mistakes, to become comfortable and to grow more experienced as moms.
Think about that, when Mother’s Day gets here and remember – no matter how confident Mom seems, no matter how poised or in control – when you appreciate Mom, when you tell her good job and you share your feelings with her – they make her feel good too.
How will you celebrate the Mom in your life this year?
Related Articles:
Frugal Scrapbooking: Mother’s Day
Dear Gentlemen, Mother’s Day Is Coming
What Do You Really Want for Mother’s Day?