We’ve got a lot to do in the course of the day. The average parent–whether partnered or single, has chores to do, work, a household to run, errands, family and friends, and all of the activities that go along with childhood–play dates, school, sports, dance, tutors–are you exhausted yet? I’m exhausted just starting to write this out! Some of us are fabulous multi-taskers and can actually feel energized with all this rushing and buzzing about–but not everyone likes to feel rushed. How can you keep things moving when you have a child (or two) who not only doesn’t like it, but refuses to get on board with the modern of life of go, go, go?
First, I want to clarify that one way isn’t right and the other wrong. There are positive attributes to being able to keep a busy schedule and juggle lots of task, but there are also some real benefits to being able to thoroughly complete one thing at a time. Some of us feel energized and charged to have a full schedule with plenty to do, while it makes others feel stressed and overwhelmed. In a family, there has to be room for all types and temperaments.
Two of my children are definitely NOT multi-taskers. They both prefer life to be at a steady, slower pace and sometimes I think they were born in the wrong era. They would have made great stoic and steady pioneers. They like routine and keeping things simple and balanced–the minute there are conflicting things to do or too many activities in an evening or weekend–they shut down and feel overwhelmed. Over the years, I’ve learned that this is just who they are and instead of pressuring THEM to change, I’ve learned how to respond to their individual temperaments.
I give them plenty of warning when things are coming up, they both respond well to knowing in advance if there is going to be a dinner or party or meeting or something extra in their schedule. Then they can get geared up for it, or we can make other arrangements if they can‘t take the stimulation. They also both need to do just one or two extra-curricular activities at a time. Despite the current idea that kids need to be “kept busy” all the time–these two need plenty of down time and like feeling like they can really focus on doing one thing well. They each only play one sport and love that–they can focus and concentrate and feel like they are giving it their all.
Time management doesn’t always have to mean doing a lot in the time you have, it can also mean learning to adjust expectations and reality to meet individual temperament and personality. Not everyone needs to or wants to be going a mile a minute!
Also: Can You REALLY Make Them do Things They Don’t Want to Do?
Unconventional Kids–Unconventional Parents