One of the big myths of single parent homes is that the chicks rule the roost. People assume that with only one parent in the house—especially in families where the children outnumber the parent, the kids run wild and the parent is not actually in charge. This does not have to be the case. Just because you are the only parent, does not mean you can’t be the boss.
I have written before about how my kids probably have more of a say in things like the grocery list, what we have for dinner, etc. than they would if our family was not configured the way it is. BUT, that doesn’t mean that I let the boundaries get blurry when it comes to who is in charge. I want my kids to know that it is my house and I am the responsible adult—I still make the rules, dole out the discipline, etc. I have had to stay focused to make sure that while we may have a different rhythm and I am the lone parent and adult in our little home, I AM the adult—my kids do not have a say about grown-up stuff.
This can be hard for single parents. We are, after all, just ordinary, flawed, vulnerable people and we don’t always know all the answers (but this isn’t a condition unique to single parents.) Our kids, however, need to be able to count on us to be in charge and set a very clear structure for who is the boss. Things can be more egalitarian, we can treat our kids like people with opinions and a vested interest in what goes down in our family homes, but ultimately, as the parent, we need to be the boss—regardless of whether there is only one of us or not.
Also: Don’t Allow Kids To Divide and Conquer
I Probably Let My Kids Have More Say and Influence