My last blogs have been about submission and marriage. Does that mean my husband does whatever he likes and I’m expected to go along with it? No, it does not. He would never make a decision without consulting me and talking it over. Similarly I would not make a major decision without his input.
Before he retired, my darling was under considerable stress at work with expectations beyond what any human being could reasonably do. It looked likely to get worse. He suffered many migraines, severe neck and shoulder pains and other health issues caused by stress. I was very concerned about him. But his retirement was coming up.
Due to government changes with tax and superannuation, it would have been better for us financially if he worked for another 5 months. We would have been able to buy a more expensive house or have more money under the new scheme. Was it worth working those extra months to get the benefits?
He asked me if he should continue working those extra months to gain the extra monetary benefits. For several years he’d been counting down the months and weeks to retirement. I also knew he’d have listened if I said he should stay on at work those months. We talked and prayed about the decision together.
‘I’d rather have a healthy husband than any amount of extra money,’ I said.
But he wanted to do what was best for me- for us. I convinced him what was best for us, was him happy and healthy. Yes, extra money would be helpful. It’s not like we were ever going to be that well off. But money would mean nothing if I didn’t have him. ‘I think you should retire exactly when you were planning to,’ I told him.
That extra money would have made life less of a financial struggle. And some people thought we were crazy not to wait and get the extra benefits. ‘Surely he’ll wait till July to retire. You’d be so much better off financially. Think of the extra benefits,’ a woman I knew said.
‘Not if in means endangering his health or even losing my husband,’ I replied.
She looked at me like I was nuts. But I’m used to that. It all depends on what’s important. To me my husband and his health were of primary importance.
He retired as planned. We have never been happier. Yes, it means we have to watch our spending and we needed to be prudent when selling and buying our new home and moving. We’re not as well off as we could have been. So what! If the situations were reversed, he would give the same counsel.
It was never worth risking my husband’s health. He is now healthy and stress free. I could count on one hand the number of health issues he’s had since quitting work.
Marriage is all about -looking out for each other’s best interests. That’s what Paul is advocating in Ephesians 5:22-33. I submit to him, which is how we ended up living in Orange when his job moved there and he wanted to stay with his job. And he cares about my needs and looks out for me. That’s what marriage is.
Please visit these related blogs
Why I’m happy to submit to my husband
Why I’m happy to submit to my husband – part 2
keeping the happily ever after