Recently, I was faced with a difficult decision to make. Without going into too much detail, it was very personal, and involved one of my children. I needed the help of the Lord to make this decision. There were lots of emotions involved, and I kept questioning my feelings. It seemed hard to distinguish whether or not I was receiving revelation or just simple thoughts in my mind.
I struggled with this issue for a few months. It wasn’t until I had a fleeting thought, and pondered on it that I realized that the Spirit was trying to whisper something to me. With faith, I followed the choice that I did not want to make, and was fighting against. It was a slow process, but I continued to pray over and over again. I needed constant reassurance from the Lord that my decision was the right one.
Fortunately, I kept feeling peaceful every time I prayed. I kept wondering how the decision that I didn’t want to make could be the right one. But, as I pushed forward, slowly, I saw the results I had been hoping for. Yet, it was still a very emotional time for me. Every time I felt sad, or discouraged, I prayed for Heavenly Father to reassure me. It was almost instantaneous as I prayed, I immediately felt reassured.
Now, I can say with confidence that the decision the Lord was leading me to was the right one. However, I believe that a part of me was letting my emotions get in the way. In Elder Scott’s recent conference address, “How to Obtain Revelation and Inspiration for Your Personal Life“, he says “First, yielding to emotions such as anger or hurt or defensiveness will drive away the Holy Ghost. Those emotions must be eliminated, or our chance for receiving revelation is slight.”
I think in making my decision, I was worried about what others would think more than I was worried about what was best for me and my child. I was defensive about my decision I was making. I was overly emotional. Yet, I can sit here now and say that I received a testimony that through prayer, the Lord is willing to guide us every step of the way. We have to be willing to follow Him though, even if we think the decision seems contrary to our instincts.
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