You’ve been through a crisis or transition–maybe there has been a separation or a divorce or a death or a move or some other major life “happening” that has led to your status as a single parent. Even if you have embarked on single parenthood by choice, it can still seem overwhelming and things can have a precarious, temporary feel for a while. It is important that even if you’re going through a rough and tumble time, you make sure that you create a home for yourself and your child or children–it isn’t just about having shelter and a roof over your head, a home will help you heal.
A true home doesn’t have to be expensive or luxurious, but unpack those boxes, make sure your child has his own space and stuff, have a comfy place to sit and snuggle or read books, and find some dishes you love to eat your breakfast and supper off of. A divorce or separation can really be rough when it comes to having possessions you love and cherish. Many of us lose things in the process and may even be grieving the loss of a place we really felt was “home.” Chances are, our child or children are grieving too. We need a new home where we can rest, recuperate, and reconnect as the new version of our family.
Settling in and putting down roots can be hard when you’ve been through a crisis or loss because you are afraid you could lose all over again. It can seem easier to just exist in a limbo or noncommittal place than to risk feeling so disoriented. But, our kids need us to make another home and to start all over with creating comfort and providing a peaceful, warm, homey place–regardless of our resources or whether our full heart is in it or not. Sometimes, the process of making a home can be healing in itself.
Also: Behaving “As If” it is a Choice
Expecting Too Much During Times of Crisis and Transition