Nobody promised single parenthood was going to be easy—but many of the realities of living family life as a single parent have both positive and negative aspects, and it can all be in how you look at things. Making decisions and choices can be one of those things—it’s sometimes nice not having to consult with anyone else or take someone else’s ideas into account when we are making the tough decisions, but there are other times when we really could use someone to help us share the load…
Having the confidence to make the tough decisions and choices alone can take some time to build. We might be afraid that we will make some lasting mistake or that our decision-making abilities are clouded by subjectivity. All of that is okay and it might be the way a person would feel even if he or she did have a partner to bounce things off of. Decisions like whether or not to take a new job, move or relocate, put a child in a specific school, get counseling or therapy, purchase a house, etc. are all major, life-altering decisions. But, we can do this! There are benefits to learning how to problem-solve and make choices and decisions on your own.
Give yourself time to evaluate and try not to make decisions under duress. I’ve found the tried and true method of “sleeping on it” to be a wise one. Forcing decisions in times of stress tends to contribute to regret or going back on my choices. Also, just because we are solo parenting, it doesn’t mean that we can’t talk our tough life choices over with a trusted friend or family member just to gain perspective. But remember, you are the ultimate decision maker for your family. If you try to keep the focus on doing what is best for your child and yourself, and listen to your instinct—chances are you can become a very competent and confident solo decision-maker!
Also: Boost Your Single Parent Confidence
Getting People Around Your Family Who Make You Feel Supported