The state of New York is on the cusp of a breakthrough in family law. Judges are being given the power to mandate that one or both parents that are experiencing divorce attend a certified parent education program. A recent article in New York’s The North Country Gazette notes that: The benefits of parent education programs have been well established…They help reduce parental conflict and ease the trauma of family break-up on youngsters. However, without the authority to mandate participation in these valuable programs, judges are finding that litigants are not complying with their referrals. This new court rule will give teeth to a judge’s order, which ultimately serves the best interests of the children and families involved.”
In the state that I live in, divorcing couples with children are required to attend a class that is supposed to help the parents make life bearable for the children in spite of the pain of the relationship ending. In reality this program is an at will, unmandated class that ends up attracting parents who are already in touch with the idea that the relationship breaking up is going to affect their children. Tragically this type of seminar will not bring in the parents who might most need it. These are the parents that are so filled with anger that they seek to meet their own needs at the expense of others-including their children. These parents need help in learning how to budget, manage their emotions and run a household on their own.
I honestly do not know how I feel about mandating parenting classes. At first thought it sounds like a great idea, but upon further ponderance, there might be issues that are created due to a person being forced to do something against his or her will-even if it is something beneficial. I wonder if forcing a parent to sit through classes that he or she does not want to be at will make him or her resentful toward their children. Does forcing someone to learn how to be a better person really work? What about choice? I think that there needs to be a desire to learn healthy parenting styles, otherwise it might just be a wasted effort and therefore wasted taxpayer dollars. On the other hand perhaps even a person that does not want to be at a parenting class might still be able to glean an important bit of information that will help their family to live in a healthier manner.
What do you think-are mandated parenting classes a good idea or a waste of time?