Having “assigned roles” in the household can make for fewer arguments in a marriage. Knowing exactly who is responsible for what can help the tasks get done and cut down on arguments. Here is how.
Assigning roles
In my marriage, we seem to have naturally fallen into responsibilities, although some things are done as a team, and other things seem to be done by whomever gets inspired (or tired) when a task is left undone.
Most of the time, we fall into the typical gender roles that you might have expected from the 1950s. Part of the reason for this is because I stay home with our children and work part time from home around their schedules, while my husband works full time usually at an office. Some responsibilities can overlap depending on the time of the day (I usually take care of the dishes during the day, while my husband may clean up after dinner so I can work).
The benefit of roles
Having our different areas of responsibilities means less stress in the household. I never have to worry if there is gas in the car, for example, and he never has to worry about having clean clothes. Having the same responsibilities all of the time generally allows us each to create a system that works for us in each of our areas, and the other person generally stays out of the way. There is no arguing about the right way to do something. It also helps sometimes with decision making. Since I am generally responsible for getting everyone to the doctor or dentist, for example, I generally make all of the decisions about what needs to get done, especially with the kids. Of course, if there is a serious issue in any area, we focus on that together.
Being flexible
Having assigned roles does require some flexibility. Each person isn’t alone on an island, and things may have to change depending on what comes along in life. When my husband travels for business, I have to take on most of his tasks as well. If I become ill or have tight working deadlines, then my husband takes up the slack.
Do you have assigned roles in your marriage?
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
Related Articles:
The Gift of Unconditional Acceptance
For a Good Marriage, Avoid the Story Telling