‘Marriage doesn’t prepare people for retirement,’Mick said today as we were talking about people we know and they way they hardly interact with each other. Think about it. His comment makes a lot of sense.
The reality is for most of married life it is a case of the husband, or more commonly these days both parties, going off to work. They work in separate places and spend a lot of hours apart then come together in the evening with family. Then there are chores to be done and kids to feed and meals to prepare. It is not exactly prime together time.
Suddenly when faced with retirement this pattern no longer applies. Both husband and wife are not going to be working and therefore have more time on their hands. That can be a good thing if you are both prepared for it. But years ago women I knew thought I was nuts when I said I was looking forward to Mick retiring so we could spend more time together. They told me, ‘he’s going to be constantly underfoot. Wanting you to make cups of tea and generally getting in the way of what you want to do.’
That’s not the way I see it. But then we’ve always been used to spending as much time as possible together and wanting to spend time together. So while we might each do our own thing at times, we are still together a lot of the time.
One of the great advantages of him being retired is that we can just decide to take off for a day date to the beach or the movies or whatever takes our fancy.
That’s where common interests are important and maintaining the relationship over the years and keeping the lines of communication open. Even if you disagree at times, it doesn’t matter, because it helps us understand different points of view. And think of the fun of making up!
It doesn’t really matter what you’re talking about, so long as you are still talking.
Join me tomorrow when I’m going to give some suggestions of ways you can do that and some inexpensive date ideas.
Related blogs
Changing Patterns in Marriage-Part 2