Every marriage encounters obstacles and hard times. The difference is some people are better at handling them than others. So you are stuck in the floodwaters, now what can you do?
To continue the floodwaters analogy, you could just try treading water and wait till the waters subside. The trouble is you might just go under in the process. So what else can you do?
The best solution is to try and find a way out of or around the problem. This is where being able to talk about to with your spouse and get to the root cause of the problem can be helpful. Don’t just try and ignore to hoping it will go away.
In an example I heard of recently the woman was convinced her husband was having an affair. Instead of confronting him about it or talking about it with him, she talked to others and then tried to smarten herself up spending money on clothes and new hairdo and worrying about what was wrong with her. Apart from that she basically tried to carry on as normal. It turns out he was in business difficulties and they were in danger of losing their home. But he hadn’t told he. So she had imagined the worst. Of course her increased spending added further pressure.
Once they woke up to themselves and actually talked about the situation, she knew she was able to cope with that because that was less scary than the alternative which she had been imagining. He knew how important he was to her. Sometimes that is the case what we fear may not be the reality at all. We may just have a skewed version.
‘When all else fails talk about it,’ I heard someone say recently about a marriage problem.
Why wait till then? Why not make talking about it the starting point, rather than the point you come to when there’s nothing left to try?
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