When I told Mick about my last article he came up with a couple of extra ideas. First he said, ‘So marriage is like the sea because it’s dark and stormy?’ Just as well I know he was joking.
Sadly, the reality is for some people that is exactly what it is like. Marriage is a constant battle as each one seeks to get their own way and stormy arguments result. A little bit of give and take is in order in any marriage.
Then he mentioned that marriage was like the sea in that there are tides. Ebb and flow is part of any marriage too as circumstances change.
First, there is the honeymoon period. Then you settle down as a married couple and then children come along. Things change again. When they are babies, it is a whole routine of changing babies, feeding them and trying to keep up with and meet their needs when they don’t have the verbal skills to tell you. At times like this, a husband can sometimes feel inadequate and pushed to the sidelines, unless the wife takes measures to include him in the day to day activities with baby.
It is different routine then when the children are preschoolers and older and needing to be ferried to birthday parties, music lessons, sport and another activities. The change to adolescents and teenagers can be a taxing time for parents, as the whole prospect of young love and your child falling for someone else and cutting family ties a bit comes into play. Fathers can often be very critical of their daughter’s boyfriends and mothers of their son’s girls.
Then suddenly they’re gone off to college or married and with family of their own and you are back to being a couple again. You need to make sure you’ve kept your communication skills and relationship alive and well during those intervening years.
As well as the tidal aspect of marriage Mick mentioned one more. Marriage is refreshing as cool sea water is. He said it is refreshing to come home from work or other activities and be with the one you love. I’m glad after the years we’ve been together he still find marriage refreshing.
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