‘Marriage isn’t fashionable. People these days are not keen on commitment.’ This was the assessment of an eighty year acquaintance recently. Is he right? Given the state of marriage in USA and many other countries around the world, one could suggest there’s an element of truth in those remarks.
In fact I’d dare to suggest that even when people do marry there is often an element of that lack of commitment. I see it often in the forums, and as I hear others talking about marriage and life in general. There is a sense that some men and women are committed to the marriage only as long as it works for them. Once it stops being fun or stops being easy but requires work, then they start to have second thoughts and third thoughts and before you know it all they can think about is getting out of the marriage and moving on.
Dustin Hoffman playing the part of Harvey Shine in Last Chance Harvey, said ‘We all know that children are the ones to suffer most in a divorce.’ He also went on in the movie to compliment his daughter for overcoming the problems caused by her parents’ divorce and for growing into a strong independent woman. But this was a movie.
True, movies often do reflect real life too us. And it does happen in real life that children overcome the obstacles. But in many cases they do not! Anyone who works with children and teenagers sees ample evidence of how divorce affects the lives of the children and teenagers who lives are ravaged by divorce.
So does this mean parents should stay together for the sake of the children? Good question. Constant arguments, violence, affairs, criticism and nitpicking and tension between parents can have just as devastating affect on children. So what is the answer? I’d love to hear some people’s thoughts on this.
Related blogs
Will Divorce Make You Happier?
Dealing with Problems and Irritations in Marriage