We all have bad memories. Days or places or things we’d like to forget. I’m not talking about the day where everything goes wrong (though I’m sure we’ve all had a few of those too). What I’m talking about are the bad memories related to the bad events that happen in our lives.
For example, I remember the day my grandmother died. It’s a bad memory, though I am glad I was there and I was able to be there for my mother, the whole day is one blur of pain. It seems like whenever something goes truly wrong or terrible, it happens when my husband isn’t there with me.
He Helps
It’s not that he’s not around because he chooses to be somewhere else, it’s because circumstances have put him somewhere else. It’s also true that terrible things are more terrible because he is not there to share the event with me or help shelter me from it. He’ll tell you the same thing.
A few years ago, we moved from Virginia to Texas. There were a lot of complications in that move and for about two months of it, he was in one state and I was in another. I had our daughter and our dogs and all our pets with me. Two of our dogs did not handle the move or his absence well.
They grew increasingly more aggressive and damaging and one night, while I was out – they killed one of our cats. It was a horrible moment to walk in on and even more so because my daughter was with me. My husband wasn’t there and he has bad memories of that time because he wasn’t there to help us and I have bad memories of that time because of the things that I needed to do. The dogs were becoming a danger to our child and I made a hard decision, one that my husband supported, but it was hard nonetheless.
Sharing Everything
Marriage is about sharing everything, the good and the bad. We’re so much stronger together than we are apart. We know each other, we know how to support each other and even if there is nothing he can do or say – having him there is enough. It helps.
So we all have bad memories, but the worst are the ones we have of when we’re not together. How about you?
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