For most of us, marriage is a given. It’s one of those things we seem pre-programmed to do in our society much like going to school and getting a diploma and today, continuing to college and getting a degree. Despite statistics, most of us will get married at least once without any idea of what to expect when we do. We think we know, based on our observations of marriages around us.
Observations on Life
Marriage is not supposed to be easy. Marriage is a series of never ending challenges that requires us to look inside and outside ourselves for the answers. While there are many similarities in marriage, every marriage is unique with its own unique source of problems and benefits. You can have trouble in your marriage over money, problems with extended family, addiction, depression, parenting and even career choices. You can have great joy in your life from parenting, extended family, holidays, successes and more.
Our marriages are actually microcosms for observations on life. We don’t exist in a vacuum, yet there are many times when we feel like we do. Our marriages are made up of big things and little things. They are made up of crises and precious moments. They are comprised of all things great and small – sometimes it seems that the big things are overwhelming to us and that the little things don’t amount to much – and other times when we forget about the big things and we nurture those little things.
Making Our Marriages Work
Making a marriage work is hard. It’s not supposed to be easy. In fact, that’s part of the struggle with the modern marriage – we live in a world of convenience where television programs can be downloaded, meals can be micro waved and groceries delivered to the doorstep. We’re so used to things coming to us easily that when a relationship proves difficult – some of us just cut our losses and run.
Marriage should make us cry. It should make us laugh. It should make us shout. It should make us furious. It should make us feel embraced. Marriage should be hard – because if it wasn’t hard, we would value it as much as we do that downloaded television program, the micro waved dinner and the quick, easy purchase with the credit card.
Sometimes, if we look at the fact that our marriages should be hard to have value – we might realize that it is the hard times that make our good times so sweet. It is the struggle that makes the success worth having. If marriage weren’t hard – it wouldn’t be a dream, an ideal or a fairytale worth pursuing. So the next time you think to yourself – why is it so darn hard – remind yourself that if it wasn’t so hard – it wouldn’t be a marriage and it wouldn’t be worth working on and building together.
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