Yesterday we touched on the value of marriage preparation classes for those coming from divorced parents. However, even where a couple does have a positive model to follow, marriage preparation classes are useful.
Both our son and daughter went with their respective partners to marriage preparation classes while they were engaged and found them extremely helpful in giving them a clearer picture of what marriage is all about. The classes raised things they may not have thought about as well as identifying traits of each person that will affect the way they react in a given situation.
For example, it is helpful to know what sort of personality you are. Are you a person who is very free and easy about spending? Then you might have problems with someone who is more careful with money and works to a strict budget, unless you are each aware of the others tendencies.
Some people show their love in practical actions like washing up or getting a meal rather than in making romantic gestures like buying flowers or candlelit dinners. If you’re looking for romantic gestures you’re going to be seriously disappointed unless you realize and allow for the differences.
If one person has an extremely close relationship with parents and their partner doesn’t, they will need to work it out and reach a compromise of how much contact with parents or how close to them they will live.
Of course sometimes someone who’s opposite in nature can add the balance that the other person lacks. It’s more just about being aware of your personality and reactions and allowing that we won’t always react the same way. Sometimes it can be a personality thing. Other times it can be a gender difference.
The one area it seemed where the marriage preparation classes didn’t work was in making couples more satisfied. This is hardly surprising, as when you’re engaged you’re on a bit of a high anyway and life looks good as you’re planning or your future.
I still can’t help feel increased awareness of each other plus communication skills have got to improve any marriage.
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