Is your husband the head of the household? Do you prefer that he have that responsibility, or would you like to play a more active role? For many women, the role is constantly changing, and it can be difficult to switch gears.
For example, if your husband travels a lot with work, is in the military, or otherwise has extended absences from home, it can be difficult to switch back and forth. It is not only difficult to step down from the role of head of family upon his return, but it can also be hard to step back into that role when he leaves again.
When I’m already feeling a bit overwhelmed, I don’t want all that responsibility. It’s nice to know that someone else is “in charge” and taking care of things. It’s hard for me to give up that safe place and put myself back into that lead position of authority.
There are other times when I find it more difficult to let go. It’s especially trying if my husband doesn’t seem to be suiting up for the role as quickly as I think he should. I know he needs to rest and relax when he returns, but finding the right balance between helping him and just taking over is not always easy for me.
I know other wives deal with these issues and I’d love to hear about your experiences and any ideas you might have to make these transitions easier. So far, the only thing I’ve got is making a conscious effort to switch gears when appropriate. I talk myself into taking the leadership role as he heads out the door, whether I feel like it or not, and I actively work to prepare myself to move over upon his return.
I think things are a little more balanced than they once were, and I try not take over, but I also don’t dump everything in his lap when he hits the door. I try to give him some room and let him ease back into his role, with me by his side.