Marriage is often described as a partnership. That means both partners are supposed to work together, to be a team. It can be difficult to work together when problems arise and emotions are running high. The key is to begin working on problems right away instead of waiting until a small issue because a full blown crisis.
For example, money problems can be difficult to discuss. If one spouse is careful with money while the other spends like there is not tomorrow, it will lead not only to financial problems, but also to resentment. The saver will feel like he or she always does without in order to make for the heavy spending of the other mate. This issue needs to be resolved before credit scores plummet and before resentment sets in.
Here are some tips for solving problems:
Discuss It
The first step in dealing with a problem is admitting there is a problem. Get the issue out in the open. Try to discuss it when there is plenty of time to talk, when both of you are calm, and when you have a chance to speak in private. State the problem in factual terms and try to avoid accusatory or emotional language. Listen to what your husband or wife has to say.
Compromise
Try to find a compromise. As in the scenario above, the spouse who spends constantly could agree to slow down on spending, giving some of the extra money to the other spouse. The spouse who saves could then try to let go a little bit and occasionally purchase something for him or herself to avoid resentment. People often believe that compromise means giving up what you want or simply giving in. It really means giving up some of what you want so that both people are satisfied with the solution.
Be Flexible
Don’t take a hard line approach to your newfound compromise. The spending spouse will likely still overspend at times. Getting angry will not resolve the situation. Also, be flexible when it comes to yourself. You aren’t expected to be perfect either. Allow for mistakes, expect them, but deal with them before they get blown out of proportion and then move on.