Today, I have a little something fun for you to enjoy. The following vignettes are all real stories either seen on the news or seen in person. The holidays are a great time and these marriage tales take full advantage of the warm feelings generated by Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa and more.
Christmas Light Proposal
Our first marriage tale comes from Torrance, California. Christmas lights are a real treat in these neighborhoods – like so many other neighborhoods around the United States, decorating the halls is now more a celebration of lights as we decorate our streets. One set of Christmas lights read quite clearly: Tiffany will you marry me. Her boyfriend took her for a drive to see the Christmas lights and when she saw it – at first she did not realize that it was meant for her, but many of their friends and loved ones had gathered near those lights and she realized it was meant for her. The couple are expected to marry next summer.
How beautifully romantic is that?
The Daily Rituals of Marriage
Timothy and Ellen will be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this Christmas Eve. They married in 1966 only a short time before Tim would be sent to Vietnam. He served two tours of duty and Ellen gave birth to the first of five children only a year after their wedding. They’ve endured numerous separations over the years for family, career and military service.
When I talked to them about what they could teach their children about marriage, Ellen told me the secret to their personal success in marriage: Commitment. Not the commitment we made on the wedding day. But the ritual of commitment we made every day. We were always glad to see each other – whether we had been apart for five minutes, five days, five weeks or five months. We committed ourselves to making every moment we were together worth it. Commitment is a daily ritual and not something we paid lip service too.
Accentuate the Positive
According to John Gottman Ph. D. in his book: Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, a couple needs to make sure they commit five positive actions for every negative one. That means for every sarcastic remark there should be at least one hug, one wink, one kiss, one compliment and one caress. Couples whose positive acts towards their spouses outweigh their negative by a margin of five to one are better off and more likely to succeed.
Not a bad bit of advice there.
What tales of marriage can you offer?
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