You always hear that you should never go to bed mad. You should stay up and resolve the problems between you and your spouse. Arguments and disagreements are disruptive to a person’s health and their home. So how can going to bed mad be good – when we’re always told it’s bad?
Consider for a moment, when you’re exhausted and angry, that you are in an emotionally charged state and that you are less likely to be reasonable or willing to be reasonable. In fact, the longer you try to settle an argument when you are that angry, the less likely are you are going to achieve a resolution. According to some scientific studies – when we’re angry or distressed – it affects our brainwaves.
When our brainwaves are altered this way, it actually affects our ability to problem-solve. It can take as much as thirty minutes or more to let your brainwaves go back to normal after you’ve calmed down from being angry. So if that’s the case – trying to resolve an issue with your spouse and staying awake to do it can actually do more harm than good.
Consider What We Tell Our Children
Have you ever tried to have a reasonable discussion with a cranky or upset child? Kids are usually unrestrained in their responses and when they are overtired and angry, they are the very definition of unreasonable. The best thing in the world is to let the child go to sleep for a few hours – their upset will be abated when they wake up and they will also be more willing to listen. Adults are no different, we’re just better at choking back some emotions – but choking it back doesn’t make it go away.
It’s important to take a break sometimes, even in the middle of a fight so that both of you can regain your equilibrium. You can do this by walking away for a bit or getting some sleep. Many times when you go to sleep and wake up, you’re refreshed and you’ll be more likely to see your disagreement in a more reasonable light. You and your spouse will likely be more able to resolve your differences and do so in a way that doesn’t involve yelling or arguing.
Have you ever gone to bed mad?
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