In the A-Z Guide, O represented oasis. Your marriage and your home should be an oasis for you and your spouse. It should be the one place you can each be yourselves without fear of judgment, the place you feel safe, comforted, and comfortable. It should be a refuge from the outside world and the demands of life.
Unfortunately, in too many marriages, the home or the relationship feels like another demand. Coming home to one’s spouse is not a relief, a refuge; it is just a different set of problems or pressures. We have to work to make being in our company the place our spouses most want to be.
Do you want your spouse to prefer being at home with you to being anywhere else? That doesn’t happen when a husband or wife feels like there is no difference between being at work with a demanding boss and job, and being at home with a demanding spouse and household obligations.
Close your eyes and try to picture an oasis. What comes to mind? You might see an image similar to what you’d find in a movie scene… a lush, shaded, beautiful place, with food, water, refreshment, an area of relief in the middle of a dessert. Your marriage should be that refuge for your spouse and for you.
You and your mate can find ways to make your marriage that oasis. Showing each other a sense of appreciation, greeting one another enthusiastically upon returning home, and allowing each other to unwind before tackling home and marriage issues together is a good start. Do your best to make the life and the home the two of you share a retreat. When home is a relaxing, welcoming place, it will be the one that is preferred above all others.