Since there aren’t that many words that start with X, especially as pertain to marriage, I had to improvise. That doesn’t mean the subject of exaggeration is not still one that needs to be addressed in many marriages.
Remember when you were a kid? Did your parents or teachers say things like, “You NEVER listen,” or “You’re always up to something,” or any other all or nothing statements? This kind of exaggeration can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. People begin to think that if they are ALWAYS wrong anyway, there isn’t much point in trying to improve.
When you start with always or never, you are likely to lose your spouse’s attention as soon as the words escape your lips. Such absolutes make a person feel instantly defensive. The response is likely to be, “Not always,” or “You can’t say I never do,” instead of seeking to address the real problem.
Exaggeration is also dishonest. It attempts to prove a point by overstating the reality of the issue. “I’ve told you not to do that at least a million times!” The point is that your spouse has told you repeatedly, but you know it hasn’t been anywhere near a million times, so you’re not likely to take this outburst seriously.
People tend to exaggerate when they’re frustrated because the other person won’t comply with their wishes, and they are trying to find a way to get across how serious they believe the problem is. However, it doesn’t work. It’s much better to state concerns in a matter of fact way. You won’t be seen as blowing things out of proportion and you won’t erode your spouse’s self-esteem by making your mate feel that he or she is ALWAYS wrong or NEVER does anything right.