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Marriages Ending as Deployments Are Extended

Deployments are being extended with units assigned overseas to Afghanistan and Iraq. One article in the Chicago Tribune noted that for one unit in Afghanistan for over 16 months and just extended for another four months the toll on the unit has been extreme.

Eight men in the squadron have died. Wives have given birth to babies, one soldier’s wife suffered brain damage after getting in a car wreck that killed two other people. Another soldier found out that his father had less than two weeks to live after being diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. At least three soldiers postponed their weddings because of the extension and three other men will face divorce when they return home as their marriages were broken by the distance.

Long deployments are likely to become the standard for the military with their resources being taxed with commitments in Iraq and Afghanistan. In April, the government announced that troops will now be deployed for 15 months at a time instead of the more traditional 12 months. Extensions may now mean soldiers will be away from home for as long as 18 months to 2 years.

Nation building requires more manpower than fighting does. The longer deployments can mean keeping more experienced troops on the ground in an effort to accomplish more overall. But it’s growing increasingly more difficult to entice men to sign up and join the army or to convince the enlisted to re-enlist when their enlistment ends.

There are soldiers who have spent only a few months with their four and five year old children since they were born. Other soldiers who detail how much their children hate the army because it keeps mommy or daddy away for so long. The case for longer deployments is compelling, but the stress on the troops and their families is enormous.

Spring is typically the worst time overseas in Afghanistan because attacks are stepped up and despite the harshness of the conditions and the concern they have for their families at home – these are soldiers dedicated to doing their duty. I feel nothing but compassion for these soldiers and their families.

Deployment can be hard on any relationship and young marriages, especially those made a month or two before a deployment may not have the strength or foundation to withstand the absence, especially when that absence can be extended.

Are you a spouse waiting for your husband or wife to return from deployment?

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About Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. They have a beautiful daughter who just turned five years old. She is learning to read and preparing for kindergarten in the fall. An author of more than 300 articles and 500+ web copy pieces, Heather has also written three books as a ghostwriter. Empty Canoe Publishing accepted a novel of her own. A former horse breeder, Heather used to get most of her exercise outside. In late 2004, early 2005 Heather started studying fitness full time in order to get herself back into shape. Heather worked with a personal trainer for six months and works out regularly. She enjoys shaking up her routine and checking out new exercises. Her current favorites are the treadmill (she walks up to 90 minutes daily) and doing yoga for stretching. She also performs strength training two to three times a week. Her goals include performing in a marathon such as the Walk for Breast Cancer Awareness or Team in Training for Lymphoma research. She enjoys sharing her knowledge and experience through the fitness and marriage blogs.