Why do we make such a big deal about weddings? More specifically, why do we spend so much on weddings?
The Average Price of a Wedding
I stumbled across a site called Cost of Wedding that says the average price of a wedding in the United States is between $14,000 and $43,000. (You can also enter your zip code on this site to find out what the average cost of a wedding is in your immediate area.) This figure accounted for everything except: the engagement ring, bridal consultant or wedding planner (if any), bridal shower invitations, gifts from guests, honeymoon, limo rental, and videographer.
Expensive Wedding vs. No Frills Wedding
I‘ve attended both big weddings and small, fancy and frugal. While a big, lavish wedding is exciting to attend, a frugal, no frills wedding can be equally intimate (maybe even more so).
Wayne and I had a no frills shin dig for sure. Back then, it was common for people to spend $10,000 on a wedding. We knew many who did. We sure didn’t. Not even close.
Pay More, Divorce Faster?
But I don’t think that’s a bad thing. One of my favorite readers, Jade Walker, has often commented about how her and her beau are saving up. From what I understand, it’s not so much for the wedding as it is to travel more together. (Perhaps to have a destination wedding? If Jade reads this she might enlighten us more about that.)
One thing I have noticed is that the more expensive the wedding, the more likely it is not to last. At least from my experience. None of the couples whose fancy, expensive weddings I attended are still together.
But the no frills crowd? Still going strong. (For the most part. I can think of one divorce there too.)
Challenging the Norms: What If…
If you want to turn your wedding into a production with flowers, music, musicians, elaborate ceremony decroations, and a lavish reception feast that’s fine. But what’s wrong with keeping it simple? Keeping the cost down? Why start your marriage weighted down with debt? I can see why many marriages with that kind of a start don’t make it.
What if we did things differently? Instead of a big party on the front end, what if we saved up for a big celebration somewhere down the road? What if instead of looking forward to the wedding as being the big party, everyone instead looked forward to their 20th anniversary party? (Or 10th or even 25th. Doesn’t have to be the 20th.) Kind of how like some birthdays are anticipated milestones. (Think Quinceaneras, Sweet 16, 21st…).
Would marriages last longer? Would it help us to think of marriage differently?
I believe yes. Weddings celebrate you coming together as a couple. Anniversaries celebrate you as a couple. When you put 20 years under your belt, there’s a whole lot more to celebrate than just the fact you found each other.
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