According to a report by the National Marriage Project, marrying voluntarily out of love is one of the problems with marriage today. Marriage was once considered a mandatory economic and political institution according to the report titled 2006 State of Our Unions. The co directors of the National Marriage Project David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead wrote the report.
Marrying for pleasure is not the only reason Americans are less likely to marriage. Unfortunately, the other reasons cited in the report are not something I necessarily agree with. Those reasons included:
- The birth control pill that allowed for sexual relations without worry of pregnancy
- Women entering the workforce in droves
- The practice of postponing marriage until both partners have achieved their college degrees, career choice and/or the finances to support a mortgage
- Couples choosing to marry after their 30th birthdays, looking for both partners to be more settled
- The need to marry for love and not economic stability – leaving some individuals seeking romance they either cannot find or that they see as beyond them
So Are Values the Answer?
Reports like this would seem to indicate that a return to more traditional values is necessary to save the institution of marriage. However, societies evolve as do the institutions within them. We are not an agrarian society where marriage is fundamental to provide a support structure for individuals and at the same time It’s important to recognize that while many people resist change and see all change as bad, that it is not all bad.
I didn’t marry until I was in my late 20s and I didn’t have my first child until I was 29. I honestly believe that I made the right choices and that I am in a better relationship now than I could have made when I was younger. What we need to do now, rather than writing reports about what is wrong with marriage and why marriage rates are failing is to look at the positives that exist with modern marriage and to emphasize the opportunities available to our peers and our children as we move forward.
Values are an answer and I don’t mean turning them upside down, I mean by living and learning in a healthy atmosphere that encourages our children to do the same. Do you think we need to focus more on the problems or on the solutions?
Related Articles:
Marriage in the News: Traditional Social Structures
Things to Discuss Before the Wedding