Most of us spend a fair amount of time trying to make sense of things. We look for answers and try to come up with rationalizations for why things have happened and are happening the way they are. Of course, this is not just a reality we single parents wrestle with, but I have yet to meet a single parent who was not trying to rationalize something—whether it was trying to resolve past issues or rationalize a current situation. The truth is, however, there are just some things that cannot be rationalized, they just don’t make any sense—at least not in the current moment.
Sometimes, it can take years before things truly seem to make sense. It is only in looking back that we are able to see the good and reason in some of life’s lessons. Hanging on and trying to figure things out can sometimes keep us from moving forward. It is only through letting go and admitting that we cannot make sense of a relationship, job loss, death, partnerships, etc. that we are able to heal and move on.
This does not mean that we can avoid working through the things we need to, but I also think we can over-analyze and over-work on things—especially those most painful and difficult life circumstances. We may be so close that we just cannot gain the perspective we need to make things make sense. If you have tried everything, talked to everyone, prayed, meditated and focused so much of your energy on trying to rationalize and organize things that have happened and you are still feeling stuck—it might be necessary to let it go in order to truly gain perspective and heal. It might not be about making sense, but about accepting and detaching and finding other things to focus on in your life.
Also: “Yes, I Still Get Angry!”