Some children do not open up readily while others are regular open books and chatter boxes! It is quite common for a child to go through stages and phases where talking to mom or dad about what is going on doesn’t come easily or is not the first choice. I think every parent wants their child to feel like he or she can talk about anything and everything—but that isn’t always the case. The child just might benefit from having another trusted adult that he or she can talk to.
A safe, adult confidant can be hard to come by in this day and age. With all the media reports of abuse of authority relationships by priests, pastors, and teachers—it isn’t surprising that parents might feel wary of having another adult in a trusted or intimate situation with a child. BUT, we can still find safe adults for our child. How about a grandparent? In my own childhood, my most trusted non-parent was my grandfather and I was able to vent and share all sorts of my worries and concerns and he provided a nonjudgmental, understanding sounding board who also had the ability to make me laugh when I took things way too seriously. An aunt or uncle or even an older friend of the family might be an option. My children love to complain to an old friend of mine who has always been an unqualified fan since they were all three tiny. They tell her all sorts of issues they have with “mom” and she has a great knack for putting things in perspective while making them feel like she is always on their side.
Having someone to talk to—even it if it NOT mom or dad—is better than feeling all alone and misunderstood. If we don’t find safe, trustworthy adults to enrich and support our children’s lives—they might turn to gangs or other kids or less savory individuals who they think will “get” them. If your child is having a hard time communicating with you, wouldn’t it be better if he had someone safe and caring to communicate with?
See Also: Mentors
Sexual Predators Groom for Silence