Kids are curious about adoption. Adopted kids will naturally be asked questions by their peers. Some of these questions are appropriate and some are not. Some the adopted child may just not feel like answering. We may tell our children the facts about adoption, but often it is hard for children (or any of us) to come up with a response when put on the spot. The W.I.S.E. UP Powerbook is aimed at empowering children to decide how they want to handle adoption questions. This book is published by the Center for Adoption Support and Education, a non-profit family support center independent of any adoption organization.
Published in a cartoon format starring an (adopted) owl, the book’s main theme is that children have the right to choose how they will answer private or intrusive questions. (One thing that impressed me was the book’s noticing the subtle details of the questions, for example questions whose words may appear neutral but have a meaner implication when said loudly in front of others, especially by someone who already knows the answer. For example, “are YOU from ASIA? Is that where your FAMILY is?”)
“You should never feel that you are giving information about your personal adoption story that you don’t want to share. And you can feel proud to tell information about adoption that you think is important for others to know. Remember, YOU are WISE about adoption. You can choose what you want to do! You have the power! I would like to show you how to use it.”
The owl relates short scenarios where adopted kids are asked questions about adoption, such as a class project on Asia, other kids talking about a movie or TV show they saw which featured an adopted kid, or a classmate who wonders why a kid looks different from his parents. After asking the readers to tell, draw or write their ideas of what the characters in each story might say, the book presents a formula designed to help kids remember their options on the spur of the moment.
This formula is: W.I.S.E. which stands for four choices a child can make when asked an awkward or intrusive question. W stands for “Walk away”. I stands for saying, “It’s private”. S stands for “Share” some information about adoption or about one’s own story. E stands for Educate others about adoption with correct facts.
The book presents examples of some different responses to possible questions. It also asks kids to imagine ahead of time “one question you would never choose to answer about your adoption”, “one question you might answer for some people but not others”, and “one question you would always answer”.
The book includes a parent’s guide.
I plan to share this book with my second grader soon, so look for a follow-up blog on how it went. (She’s in a phase of not wanting to talk about adoption very much although her friends have asked questions. I have an advantage here in being able to say, “I need you to give me a kid’s opinion of this book—it’s for my job!”)
Please see these related blogs:
I Survived the First Grade Today
Book Review: What is Adoption?
Other Kids’ Reactions to my Kids’ Skin Color
How Do Little Kids Think About All This?