Here’s an interesting concept….a divorce hotel. Apparently this is a venture created by a Dutch entrepreneur, where couples can stay in a luxury hotel and in just three days end their marriage without a lawyer.
They come to terms through mediation. There is an interesting thing about mediation when you are divorcing. I can’t help but think if any couple is able to successfully pull this off, why can’t they do the same while married and then stay married?
I can never understand those stories where couples get along great after they have split up. Or sometimes you even hear how they are best friends. Clearly, something has worked so why must it end in divorce?
Thankfully this idea of a divorce hotel hasn’t gone beyond the Dutch, but there is an attempt being made to spread this to Germany. To me it sounds a bit silly.
But all of this has me thinking about the idea of mediation. In a nutshell it is a process in which a dispute is solved. There are some key qualities involved in mediation that would work just as well during the marriage.
The first one is voluntary. You voluntarily agree to mediate. It is not a forced issue. It means you have both made the mature decision to discuss things. Isn’t this what we should do in marriage? Why do we volunteer to seek help after the marriage has been destroyed? Why do so many couples skip this step before it ends?
Another key quality to mediation is collaboration. Everyone is working together. You go into it knowing that compromises will need to be made. Shouldn’t this take place before the marriage ends?
Many mediations end with satisfactory results. The couple walks away having a sense of accomplishment, but wouldn’t it feel much better to have that before the ending of the marriage?
I just think too many couples are too eager to end things and too willing to end it peacefully when all of that same work could have gone into the marriage itself.
How about mediating while you are still married?
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Photo by Abraaj in Flickr