We live in a confusing time—with so much commercialism and competition and sheer “stuff”—in can get confusing in a family just exactly what we parents are obligated to provide and what is extra. It doesn’t help that we’re getting pressure and influences from all sides (not just from our kids) and it can be a little challenging to differentiate between what are the basic needs that we must provide for our children and what are those extra “wants.”
Some things are really obvious, as in we are not obligated to provide i-pods and vacations to Disneyland. But some can be harder. I know when my kids were younger, there were things that came up at school that really felt to them like needs—needing a new lunch box every year or a brand new backpack. Wasn’t it their right to have those things each September? Learning that as long as their current backpack was still in good working order and not too scraggly, they didn’t actually NEED a new one was not an easy lesson. As a single mom, there were times when I got a little stressed and confused too—I surely didn’t want my kids to go without while other kids had things—but my homemade lunches were not child abuse—even if everyone else was eating hot lunch or Lunchables. I just had to get things straight in my head too.
As parents, we have to be strong and stand up to consumer and peer (and neighborhood and media) pressure if we are ever going to teach our kids the difference between a need and a want. I’m still trying to convince my kids that television is not a basic necessity for life (I’ve almost got them convinced that cable is an extra). Of course we don’t want to be ogres and we don’t want to be out of touch (and there is nothing wrong with wanting and dreaming for more in life)—but for the character of our children, understanding the difference between basic needs and extras is part of our job as parents.
Also: The Gimmes
Teaching Your Children the True Value of a Dollar
Are You Living Within Your Income?