Lately it seems I’ve been writing and thinking a lot about my bathroom. I just redecorated the master bath in my house and for the first time I have my own bathroom. All this thinking about bathrooms reminded me how many of my memories of mothering and being mothered involve the bathroom.
When I was a teenager my mother was a single mother for several years. Having five kids it was hard for any of us to have one on one time with Mom. I found mine in the bathroom. When Mom would take a bath I would sneak in and sit and talk to her. It was the only time I had her to myself. Now that I’m a single mother I’m sure she just wanted a few minutes to herself and wishes she had locked the bathroom door once in a while. I’m glad she didn’t. I loved those few minutes that I had her just for me.
Then I became a Mom and learned that you can do just about anything one handed. I remember trying to go to the bathroom while holding a screaming newborn who had been trying, unsuccessfully, to nurse for the last five hours. And the baths I took with my wiggly baby, sitting in water that was much colder than I liked while she splashed and played and giggled.
The potty training years meant lots of trips to the bathroom, where ever we were. Hailey was a toddler that couldn’t pass a bathroom; I quickly learned where all the bathrooms were in the stores and malls close to my home. How many hours are spent in the bathroom teaching your child to brush their teeth, wash their faces, wipe their bottoms, not to mention trying to get their little pony tails even?
When I became a single mother sometimes it felt like the only time I saw Hailey was at the dinner table and in the bathroom. I would do her hair before I left for work and then sit in the bathroom and talk to her while she took a bath, in our hectic schedule it was our only down time.
Now that Hailey is older our bathroom time has consisted of bumping elbows as we both try to get ready for work or school in the morning. Juggling mirror space and electrical outlets for hair and makeup, getting frustrated because no matter how much eyeliner I buy her mine always ends up in her drawer.
It looks like we’ve moved away from shared bathroom time. We have separate bathrooms now so I see her when she is ready to leave, no more helping her do her hair or wondering how much longer she is going to be in there. I miss that time and wonder if Hailey will remember the time we spent in the bathroom together or if, as so many things of childhood, those memories will just become a blur added to all the other times we’ve spent together.