Have you ever had one of those bosses—the kind who try to micromanage every little detail of the job you are trying to do? It can be incredibly frustrating as you attempt to get a project finished or even use your God-given intellect and talents to have someone constantly second-guessing or looking over your shoulder—or worse yet, someone who actually changes or undoes what you have already done. As a parent, what you think is facilitation or guidance with your child may actually be micromanaging. When it comes to the details of how your family is run—meal time, chores, errands, etc.—micromanaging can keep others from pitching in and helping out and it can keep children from learning how to function on their own and trust their own problem-solving abilities.
One of the problems with micromanaging is that we can become micromanagers in the family without realizing it! As we take on the responsibilities of parenting and running a household, many of us just naturally start to feel pride and appreciation for the job we are doing. We want to do a good job and have a clean, well-run, happy household. For many of us, this means we are going to be the ones who do that—especially when the kids are young. Once we have a good system for keeping things clean and orderly, why would we willingly want to mess that up to let someone else have input?
Unfortunately, not letting other family members participate in the life of the family can make for a weaker family overall. Instead, if we can let go of elements, let the kids do chores and learn how to contribute in their own way—our family can grow strong and our children’s daily living skills will develop. Hovering over them and micromanaging every detail does not help this happen.