While people seem to adjust to becoming middle aged better these days it doesn’t mean that midlife crisis can’t or won’t occur. In fact, refusing to acknowledge it can make it even more serious. It is also important to note that it isn’t always a midlife crisis, although the concept is very similar, even when it strikes before what most people consider “middle age.”
At some point, we all ask the question, “Where did the time go?” For some, this will be a simple time of reflection. It may lead them to try new things, to make more time for themselves, to take better care of their health, lose weight, or to take certain leaps such as starting their own business or making investments. These can be healthy changes if not done too impulsively.
For others, this sense of lost time makes them feel as if life is passing them by. “Is this all there is?” They may resent spouses, or children, or dead-end jobs, or all of the above. They may feel they have been held back from their true potential, and they often react recklessly in a desperate attempt to regain their youth.
While there are many clichés that revolve around the term midlife crisis, such as hanging out with younger people, partying until all hours, buying a sports car, or having an affair with a much younger person, these are not the necessarily the telltale signs of a midlife crisis. In fact, in many cases, people will seek out old friends, and even old flames. Many have affairs with high school sweethearts rather than with someone half their age. Many are looking to recapture their own youth, not just a sense of youth, or trying to go back in time, perhaps hoping to start over.
A midlife crisis may also be marked by depression. We see many more men suffering from depression these days while at the same time hearing midlife crisis is on the decline. I don’t believe the two are mutually exclusive. At the same time, women too suffer from midlife crisis, although it’s often been thought to affect more men. We see more women leaving their families today, tired of taking care of everyone else, and either deciding to put themselves first or looking for someone to take care of them.
The point is, don’t disregard the signs of crisis. It may not be termed “midlife crisis,” but many people do experience crises as they age. We don’t need to freak out over every bout of nostalgia, but if it’s more than that it is important to take the time to sort through such feelings and to find constructive ways to deal with them before they become overwhelming.
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