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Mixed Feelings for a Child Member of the Majority Minority

I recently wrote about Meg’s comment that she wanted to wear sunscreen because she didn’t like her skin getting darker.

Today I showed my children the statistics from the website for If the World were a Village, after the book by geography teacher David Smith. The girls were incredibly thrilled to learn that they were among the majority of the world’s people.

First I asked my older daughter, “Would you say more of the kids at school look like you or like Patrick?”

She hesitated. “Like Patrick,” she said.

I nodded. “But if you look at the whole world, more than half of the people are like you and less than one quarter look like me and Patrick.”

I shared this website with them as they were putting on sunscreen, getting ready to go swimming at a friend’s apartment building.

“I like being brown,” Meg said happily. I reminded her that I had written a poem when she was younger called “My Beautiful Caramel-Colored Daughter”.

“I know,” Meg said. Then she asked, “which one of us (Meg or her sister Regina) was caramel and which was peanut butter?”

I explained that when she was younger I had called her caramel while her brother had said that she was peanut butter. She said she didn’t like peanut butter.

Meg then asked, “now which of us do you think looks more like peanut butter?” and a moment later, “which of us is darker?”

I told her that I used to think she was darker than her sister, but that was when Regina was a baby and hadn’t been out in the sun much.

Patrick said that Meg was darker. “A little bit,” I agreed.

“I don’t like being darker,” Meg said then. “I’m going to put more sunscreen on.”

At least having said she likes being brown is a start, I guess.

Please see these related blogs:

How Do My Adopted Kids Think About Skin Color?

I Don’t Like My Skin, Part Two

This entry was posted in Transracial Adoption and tagged , , , , by Pam Connell. Bookmark the permalink.

About Pam Connell

Pam Connell is a mother of three by both birth and adoption. She has worked in education, child care, social services, ministry and journalism. She resides near Seattle with her husband Charles and their three children. Pam is currently primarily a Stay-at-Home-Mom to Patrick, age 8, who was born to her; Meg, age 6, and Regina, age 3, who are biological half-sisters adopted from Korea. She also teaches preschoolers twice a week and does some writing. Her activities include volunteer work at school, church, Cub Scouts and a local Birth to Three Early Intervention Program. Her hobbies include reading, writing, travel, camping, walking in the woods, swimming and scrapbooking. Pam is a graduate of Seattle University and Gonzaga University. Her fields of study included journalism, religious education/pastoral ministry, political science and management. She served as a writer and editor of the college weekly newspaper and has been Program Coordinator of a Family Resource Center and Family Literacy Program, Volunteer Coordinator at a church, Religion Teacher, Preschool Teacher, Youth Ministry Coordinator, Camp Counselor and Nanny. Pam is an avid reader and continuing student in the areas of education, child development, adoption and public policy. She is eager to share her experiences as a mother by birth and by international adoption, as a mother of three kids of different learning styles and personalities, as a mother of kids of different races, and most of all as a mom of three wonderful kids!