I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this creeping feeling of uneasiness in the middle of a children’s book or movie, even if it is not supposed to be about adoption issues, because so many movies do have themes related to adoption. Movies and books that are actually about adoption I can prepare for. The others take me by surprise.
It is amazing how many books and films deal with losing a parent, probably because that idea touches something deep in practically everyone. I want to stay alert to loss and grief issues in little children’s movies like Bambi and books like Babar. And I’m still wondering if my Curious George-obsessed daughter will ever ask why the man in the yellow hat kidnapped George and took him across the ocean.
Some adoptive parents reported that their children had strong emotional reactions to Meet the Robinsons. I put off viewing Brother Bear and The Country Bears with my family because I didn’t want to deal with possible issues and I didn’t like the jacket blurb. And although Stuart Little is a classic beloved by many of us, I sympathize with the mother whose daughter was traumatized at how easily Stuart’s family stepped aside when his “real” relatives appeared at the door.
I am a big Dr. Seuss fan. However, I was horrified to read Horton Hatches the Egg while we were preparing our son for his sister’s adoption. The mother bird cons Horton into watching the egg for a short time, then stays away nearly a year while Horton nurtures the egg and then the baby bird through snow and heat, discomfort and ridicule. Then the mother bird returns as if she can just swoop back in and be the parent. (When the baby bird begins to look like Horton as well as the mother bird, she decides she’s not so thrilled about parenting it after all.)
One of the Batman movies began with parents throwing their child with a facial deformity off a bridge. I wouldn’t have been so peeved if the movie (which was in my opinion inappropriate for children for lots of reasons) wasn’t being so heavily marketed through Happy Meal toys and other children’s outlets.
Another theme in many movies is finding out you aren’t who you thought you were, or that you are related to someone you despise (Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader in Star Wars, for example). Or the opposite scenario, that you were born to famous parents and your adoring public was just waiting for you to be found (think Harry Potter). Parents can point out the unlikelihood of such a scenario. Nevertheless it is not uncommon for children of a certain age to fantasize about their birthparents. If they do not have any information, they may think their birthparents are the best or the worst people imaginable. The truth is probably a lot less dramatic.
Movies and books strive for themes that touch a chord with many people. (Someone once said that there a finite number of story themes, but they can be told in infinite ways.) Adoptive parents have to be conscious of themes of adoption in media, but also themes of loss, heritage, ethnicity, disability and identity that may affect adopted children in different ways.
Please see these related blogs:
Kids’ Books on Domestic Adoption and General Adoption Themes
Another Perspective on Popular Adoption Books