Sometimes it seems as though some people are just more optimistic and full of gratitude than others. It’s easy to see why someone like Oprah can list all the things she’s grateful for in her journal of blessings every night, but maybe not so easy to see why an ordinary, struggling Joe or Jane might do the same thing. I think that gratitude and appreciate our blessings is a skill that can be practiced and built upon and that we can actually teach our children to be more positive and optimistic by modeling a grateful demeanor.
Easier said (or written) than done, right? Well, yes, I’ll agree with that. Looking at my life on paper one might think there’s not a lot to be grateful for–at least not Oprah grateful. But, since I’m someone who has cultivated the “glass is half full” mentality, I can list dozens of blessings off the top of my head–healthy, smart children; my own health and ambition; warm house; enough food; etc. etc. (I’ll spare you the “dozens”). It can be challenging to remain grateful in the face of the onslaught of comparisons and “don’t haves.” But, that’s when we need to model the gratitude for our kids even harder.
My kids would tell you that I am optimistic, and they’d also admit that it gets annoying. But, I hope they would also share that my optimism and cultivated gratitude has been an inspiration and a “rock” for them. One of my kids told me recently that they knew that no matter how ugly things seemed, I could put a sunny spin on it. I’m sure there will be that Thanksgiving dinner years from now when they are commiserating over some of mom’s annoying sayings: “Well, we’re not living in a developing country with no clean water!” and “Think how strong and amazing we’ll be when we get through this!” I believe that even if our kids don’t seem to appreciate our optimism and gratitude, and they counter it with their own negativity, they are absorbing the lessons we are modeling for them.
Besides, doesn’t it just feel better to cultivate and model gratitude for our children than to douse them with negativity, self-pity and grumbling?