In most cases, my kids could pretty much set their watches by me. While my personality is definitely spontaneous and I am willing to take risks and try new things, family life has also made me a rather reliable and loyal sort. I make plans, leave notes, and have tried to set an example for my kids of basic respect of time and commitments. The downside to all this responsibility is that when I do shake things up a bit and change my schedule—my kids get a bit worried!
It is an interesting flip of karma for me since my kids do NOT think that they need to be attentive to their curfews. Perhaps because I have been so stable and reliable, it has given them the feeling that they can be a little flakier—after all, Mom will always be there to take care of things. But, when Mom meets a friend after work, or makes a last-minute change, my kids aren’t always sure what to do with themselves.
The other day a friend called and asked me if I’d be up for meeting after work for dinner and conversation—Sure! I knew that only one of my kids was activity-less that night, and at nearly 17, she would be fine if I wasn’t home one night to greet her. So, I called and left a telephone message letting her know where I was going, what time, and when I would be home. When I got home (right when I predicted I would), she met me in the kitchen saying, “Mom, I was worried about you!”
“Didn’t you get my phone message?” I asked. Well, of course she had, but she confessed that in the 5 minutes it took her to find the phone message (she’d looked in the spot where we leave our written messages) she’d had quite a fright worrying at what might have happened to me. Good grief, I thought, but then realized that perhaps it could be an empathetic opportunity for her.
“I know just how you felt,” I answered, “that’s how I feel when you don’t come home on time or I’m expecting you and you don’t show.” But I can’t help but wonder if the tides are starting to shift—just when I am preparing to launch my kids and trying NOT to worry so much about them—are they going to start worrying about me now?
Also: “It’s None of Your Business!”
Letting Them Really BE Teenagers
Will They Ever Be Responsible Enough for My Taste?