My five year old asked me why I spend so much time on the computer. I told her that mommy works online and runs her business with the aid of the computer. She looked at me like I had five heads and said, “You work? Daddy works.” I returned the glare of disbelief. What did she think I was doing during my office hours? I explained that I work from home. She wasn’t buying it. There I sat with fuzzy slippers, hair in a pony tail, old jeans, my most comfortable Ralph Lauren long sleeved tee shirt sipping on a cup of coffee wondering how I was not the picture of a working mom in her eyes. I again explained what I was doing was “working” and that it was possible to work at home. Further I explained the reasons for working at home which were primarily to spend more time with my kids. She responded, “But you are on the computer all the time.” This child of mine has an answer for everything so either she will be a lawyer or quite simply a challenging pain in the neck when she grows up.
As she walked off distracted by her little sister playing with her best Barbie, I reflected on what she said. Did I spend too much time on the computer? Was my working at home counterproductive to being a mom? Should I just break down and get my hair done and put on a decent shirt to appear more respectable?
To answer the first question: I do not think I spend too much time on the computer. First, I work online and I conduct a business which requires computer time. If I worked in an office I would be at my desk for 8 hours a day. I spend maybe 4 hours on the computer daily and that is split up during the day as I have the opportunity or I work after the kids go to bed. I had to realize that her perception was that of a five year old and while that is important her perspective is skewed. What was amiss was not my computer time. It was the time I spent chasing my day and not prioritizing time spent with the kids. We all make sacrifices for our children and working at home maybe one of those. However it is possible to spend more time on the sacrifices than on the kids. We need to always remember our motivation and instill a balance.
To answer the second: I do not think my working at home is counterproductive to being a mom. I think I set an example of living an entrepreneurial life and pursuing a passion while maintaining a relationship with my kids and providing for my family in small ways. Again the key here is time management and purposefully spending time as a mom remembering they are the motivation and not simply along for the ride.
To answer the third: I got my hair done but I still wear my fuzzy slippers and my favorite shirt. That is part of the luxury of working at home and I am taking full advantage. I read somewhere that to be taken seriously by the kids one should get ready for working at home as if they were working outside of the home. While I see the logic I also think that sounds a bit silly. Besides I would endlessly be asked by the kids “Where are you going? Can I go too?” I already know that I could never keep up with formality. I will, however, stick to office hours and present myself properly and professionally. I also maintain I can do that in my sheik black fuzzy slippers.