This might appear as a vent session. In fact, I can almost guarantee it. But, I have to. I have three kids now, and my youngest is 11 weeks old. I have experienced Mommy meddling many times in having these three children. Yet, for some reason, it’s bugging me more and more the third time around.
What am I talking about? I’m talking about people butting in on your parenting, or maybe, giving their two cents worth on something simple when you didn’t ask for it. I’m not talking about the meddling mother-in-law, or the very opinionated sister. No, I’m talking about complete strangers that feel the need to tell me how to parent.
In the past 3 weeks, I’ve had this happen to me twice. It is usually a sweet, little old lady (older than 60) that decides she needs to point out my error in whatever it is I’m doing at the moment.
First, I was leaving my post-partum check up at the doctor and it was a cold blistery day outside. I had the baby in the car seat in one hand, a diaper bag on my shoulder, and a water bottle that I was also carrying. In addition, I was digging around for my keys before I got out the door. Baby boy was dressed in warm clothes and had a nice, big, fluffy blanket on top of him. His little head was poking out, of course. And, no, he did not have a hat on, but I was literally walking about 10 feet to my car. This woman stops me as I’m trying to hold and carry everything, and dig for those blasted keys that always seem to fall to the bottom of the diaper bag and says to me, “Do you have something warm you are going to put on that baby?” I responded, “Yes. A blanket?” She quickly justified herself by saying how cold she was outside and she certainly didn’t think a baby would like it. I just smiled and tried not to let the annoyance show on my face.
The second experience just happened last week while I was grocery shopping. I hate going to the store now because it always feels like a race to get it all done before the baby gets fussy. Not to mention the very energetic three year old I take with me also. I had the car seat in the shopping cart, and stepped a couple of steps away to grab a plastic bag to wrap my raw chicken in. As I turn back around, I see an old woman standing next to my cart looking around. She says to me, “Is this your baby?” I respond, “Yes.” She then tells me, “You should never walk away like that!” I just responded, “I was right there!” and pointed to the very short distance from whence I just came. She then justified herself by saying that she was the great-grandmother to 11 grandchildren.
Now, I love little old ladies. I do. But, I wish, instead of pointing out what I’m doing wrong, they might just offer to lend a hand. Corral my wandering three year old that now sees mommy is distracted by the old lady talking to her. Or, maybe they can tell me something like, “I know it’s hard…keep up the good work!”, or compliment me on my well-behaved children even if it may not be the truth. Something like that would help this tired mama smile and keep a positive attitude. As mothers, especially of newborns, the last thing we need is another flaw to be pointed out. What we would like is a little encouragement.
This experience has made me vow to never do this to a young mom when I am old, and done raising my children. Instead, I hope to be the old lady that says, “Let me help you….I know you’ve got your hands full.”
Related Articles:
A Little Sleep Makes a Huge Difference