When my son was younger, it was easy to talk with him about the “birds and the bees.” Back then it was essentially a dry, abstract discussion of human reproduction.
Today he’s no little boy. Nearly 16, he’s over six feet tall and I have to look up to HIM. (Or at least, AT him.) He is definitely mature physically.
Maybe it’s because of the times in which we live, but for some reason I’ve thought that my son doesn’t need any more information about sex than what I told him when he was little. Somehow I’ve believed that, in this too-sophisticated age, he probably knows more about it than I do!
But just because he may have sneaked a furtive peek or two at an “adult” web site, that doesn’t mean that he knows all the details concerning what’s going on with his body and why, or that he doesn’t have any questions.
Having never experienced male puberty myself, it’s not as though I can explain things to him from personal experience. So in the absence of a Dad or big brother to fill him in, and because I can’t imagine my son in a million years asking me questions about his body – or wanting to talk with me about it if I broached the subject – I’ve found an informative, plain-speaking book to help us both. (It was actually recommended to me by my therapist, who also works with young people.)
The book is called “The ‘What’s Happening to My Body?’ Book for Boys” and is by Lynda Madaras and Area Madaras. Checking inside the book, it appears to be something of a classic: it was first published in 1983. (There’s also a “What’s Happening to My Body?”) book for girls.)
I haven’t given the book to my son yet because I wanted to check it out first. I didn’t want to give it to him if it preaches that sexually, “Anything goes.”
There is a statement in the book with which all parents may not agree. In a short discussion of homosexuality, the authors write, “We feel that it’s a personal matter, that some people happen to be homosexuals and that being homosexual is a perfectly healthy, normal, and acceptable way to be.” Aside from that, though, there’s not much more said on the subject.
There’s also a discussion about if or when teenagers should have sex. The authors advise, “It’s always a good idea to wait until you’re older…”. Similarly, although birth control is mentioned, only a very brief overview is provided. So I’d say that, while the book doesn’t “forbid” teen sex, it doesn’t particularly encourage it, either.
Other than these two possibly controversial areas, I think that the book is very comprehensive, understandable, and reassuring. If I were a teenage boy, I’d find it very helpful because it answers all the “Am I normal?” kinds of questions that teenagers worry about. It also includes a chapter on girls, giving boys some facts about what’s happening to them.
There are many other books like this for teenage boys, none of which I’ve reviewed. Since I appreciate both the tone and the factual content provided in “The ‘What’s Happening to my Body?’ Book for Boys,” though, I do intend to share it with my son.