Moms have a bigger influence on their children than they often realize. Kids watch our every move and record what we say, not just to them but also to our friends, our partner, on the phone or to ourselves. Next time “I ate way too much this morning, now I feel fat” starts to bubble up in your throat it’s best to swallow it back down.
Children do need to learn about nutrition, and how certain foods are not good for us. However, by being non specific and stating you “feel fat” because you “ate too much”, or you are “on a diet” you are giving them the impression any food will do this to you. Thus, food should be consumed in smaller quantities. So instead of learning how to eat smart, your kids start to learn to eat less.
Children are observers of our behavior, and model their own according to it. Although each child is different, you do increase the chances of them forming an unhealthy body image if you are constantly bashing your own. Telling your mirror image (and your daughter’s!) that your tummy is too large and your arms too short will just tell her “hey, mom says it, so it must be true, I have to be careful not to get that problem!”
Carolyn Costin, who is a spokeswoman for the National Eating Disorder Association summarizes this phenomenon well: “It’s like trying on mom’s high heels. They are trying on their diets too”.
Obesity in children is on the rise. However, obsession openly about the number of calories your children are consuming can be just as destructive as letting them lead unhealthy life styles. Children should not learn to measure their self worth by the number of pounds they weigh. Instead children should learn how to lead healthy lives with a combination of good food (not processed!), tasty treats (in moderation) and plenty of activity and exercise.
What adults call “giving up on the stuff I love to eat” should be addressed as “making the right food choices for a strong and healthy body” and what adults refer to as “exercise” is really just “playing outside” for kids. The adult versions are both negative, the kid’s version is positive and not repressive.
We should be careful with what we say, but even far more careful with how we say it.
For more information on Weight Loss, visit the Families.com Weight Loss Blog.