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Money Managing Marriage Funnies

You know money is an issue in your marriage when your husband:

  • Gives you a credit card instead of a birthday card.
  • Signs you up couples accounting and insists it’s just a way for the two of you to spend more time together
  • Challenges you to a game of balance the checkbook bingo – if you can make the numbers work, he’ll let you go shopping
  • Gives you a set of 25 lb free weights and suggests that every time you want to exercise the credit options, you have to exercise your arms first
  • Throws out the sale papers before the newspaper even makes it into the house
  • Tells you that in exchange for your giving up a shopping habit, he can hire a maid, a butler and a chauffer and still save money
  • Asks for nothing on credit on his Christmas wish list
  • Makes fiscal responsibility a family New Year’s Resolution
  • Throws money out of the moving window of the car traveling at 55 mph to illustrate a point

You know money is an issue in your marriage when your wife:

  • Suggests how you can cut back on all the sports channels and save enough money to pay for the new sofa she wants
  • Says no to all impulse shopping, but only buys exactly what is on the list – whether at Tiffany’s or the Grocery Store
  • Works out the math to show you how much you save if you let her buy what she wants on sale rather than the retail price
  • Puts everyone on an allowance so she can save up for the new fall fashions when they come out
  • Equates clearing out any items of yours in the closet that you haven’t worn or looked at in the last month to make space for her shoes
  • Sees empty wall space and is compelled to buy pictures or picture frames to fill it up
  • Counts the empty hangers to determine how many new outfits she can buy
  • Uses the watchword frugal on all of the joint shopping trips, so she can save up money for her solo expeditions

I feel compelled to state at this point that the above is rather fictitious in nature and is in no way reflective of any person currently living. Although, I can certainly cite points in my life where any or all of the above could have been true!

Have a great Friday.

This entry was posted in Marital Tips and tagged , , by Heather Long. Bookmark the permalink.

About Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. They have a beautiful daughter who just turned five years old. She is learning to read and preparing for kindergarten in the fall. An author of more than 300 articles and 500+ web copy pieces, Heather has also written three books as a ghostwriter. Empty Canoe Publishing accepted a novel of her own. A former horse breeder, Heather used to get most of her exercise outside. In late 2004, early 2005 Heather started studying fitness full time in order to get herself back into shape. Heather worked with a personal trainer for six months and works out regularly. She enjoys shaking up her routine and checking out new exercises. Her current favorites are the treadmill (she walks up to 90 minutes daily) and doing yoga for stretching. She also performs strength training two to three times a week. Her goals include performing in a marathon such as the Walk for Breast Cancer Awareness or Team in Training for Lymphoma research. She enjoys sharing her knowledge and experience through the fitness and marriage blogs.