My last parenting class took place recently, and I have really enjoyed learning some tools of the trade. The class used the workbook and CD from Chip Ingram’s Being an Effective Parent in a Defective World series. Chip is the father of five children and was able to offer real life parenting advice that makes sense and seems possible to actually apply. I think the class was great for both single and double parent families, and I recommend it highly.
The final class discussed two life lessons that are important for children to learn in order to function effectively as adults. I wish that I had the advantage of understanding these basic principles earlier in my life, but I am glad that I can try to teach them to my children at an early age.
We need to teach our children how to make wise choices. Basically that means we teach them the difference between right and wrong. The media’s influence and peers are competing for our children’s attention and if we don’t teach them how to live right-someone or something else will teach them their values. We give them rules for their protection. This is simpler when they are younger. We tell our two year old that he may not play in the street because he could be hurt by a car. As they get older where we draw the lines are not always as clear. Choosing what movies they will watch, music they listen to and clothes they will wear is not always a simplistic decision. As they get older you want them to begin making more decisions for themselves so that they will have practice making good age appropriate decisions while still under your protective care. They will not always make the right decision, which leads us to the next life lesson.
Teach our children to live grace filled lives. This means they are loved no matter what they do. We help them to understand that failure is never final, and reminds us parents that giving up on our kids is never an option. We are not perfect and neither are they. They will make mistakes. How we respond to their mistakes will speak volumes to them. We can scream and shout and point out every wrong thing that they do, or we can position ourselves as a safe person for the child to come to in times of trouble. We do this by responding with love, in a calm manner, and actually listening to them without judgment. This does not mean that there are not consequences for their mistakes, but we find a way to respond respectfully to them.
One of my favorite ideals that I walked away with from the class is-I don’t have the power to make my children turn out right or wrong. I do have the power to walk with God in authenticity as I learn to fully love and trust Him. This really takes the pressure off to be a super parent.