As I’ve posted the blogs in this series, I’ve presented the very real fact that Mormons get divorced. In 2000, a study was held that stated 6% of temple marriages end in divorce. I’ll wager the percentage is higher now, although lower than the national average which currently stands at around 50%. Mormons do get divorced. It is possible. It’s also something that can be done without receiving condemnation from the Church—the act of divorce, in and of itself, is not a sin which needs to be repented of. Instead, it’s the actions that lead to the divorce that constitute the sin—adultery, selfishness, abuse, etc.
Nevertheless . . . the fact that I’ve pointed out the factors that go into the divorce, and the fact that the Church can’t stop you from getting one, should not be taken to mean that Mormons approve of divorce. Let me very clearly outline what we teach concerning marriage, concerning divorce, and where we stand on these often confusing issues.
We believe that marriage is ordained of God. We believe that the man and the woman together, as a couple, will receive the highest celestial glory, and that the family unit is the basis upon which God operates. He is our Father, and we should be learning how to create an eternal family unit, just as He has done. The husband/wife relationship, and the parent/child relationship, are eternal in nature and will last forever. We should be focusing on building those relationships and making sure that we are able to sustain healthy interactions with our family members.
Divorce should be avoided at all costs. When contention arises between the husband and wife, they should make the reparation of their relationship their top priority. They should work together as a unit, being open and honest with their feelings, being willing to admit their mistakes and work on correcting them. Every effort in the world should be made to remain emotionally and physically faithful to our spouses.
Marriage is a sacred, holy, important commitment. When we get married, we’re not just choosing someone for this life, but for the eternities. Just as we believe in life after death, we believe that we can be together forever, and so the foundation we are laying on this earth is to last for eternities. We shouldn’t choose our spouse flippantly and we shouldn’t treat our marriage relationship casually. It is a serious, eternally binding tie we are creating, and we should respect it, treasure it, and honor it.
All this being said, there are times when it is necessary to get a divorce. It is to address those issues that I created the “Mormons and Divorce” series. If you are in an abusive relationship, for instance, and your spouse shows no remorse and no intention of ever changing, you need to get yourself to a safe place. However, we do firmly believe in repentance, and if your spouse is willing to make the changes needed to turn from the abuse, then you are encouraged to do what you can to make the marriage work.
Divorce is not the option of choice amongst the LDS people. But, should it become necessary, and with no other way to resolve the problem, it can be done. But again, I emphasize, after much fasting and prayer to determine what the Lord would have us do in our situation.
Related Blogs:
What Do Mormons Believe about Divorce?
Marriage Between a Man and Woman is Ordained of God
The Proclamation on the Family