When you tell people that you are a parent (and this article can be about Dads too), how do you identify yourself? Do you tell them you are the “mother of two” (or one or three or whatever) or do you describe yourself as a “single mother”? I think it is interesting how we identify and think of ourselves when it comes to our role as single parents. Do you find that you temper your self-description to fit the audience or person you are meeting?
I find that most of the time, I tend to clarify that I am a single mom. I think it is a source of pride for me and it cuts out people making the assumption that I have a spouse or partner. I really do think of myself as solidly a “single” mom as opposed to a mother and I am not exactly sure why–perhaps because it has been so long since I was partnered, or because parenting my kids and experiencing my parenthood as a single mom has been integral to my overall life experience. I also think that identifying as a single mom right off the bat gives people a context with which to communicate with me, so maybe I am trying to put that out there too.
Of course, I am a mother—just like any other mother; a parent like any other—but I do feel a certain amount of pride and obligation to represent single parenthood. My kids are not always thrilled with my “claim” of being a single mom—after all, they see themselves as having two parents, not being “raised by a single mom,” but how they identify and how I identify are not the same. In my experience, I am a mother, yes, but I am the single mother of three. How do you see yourself? Do you think of yourself as a parent or as a single parent?
See Also: Boost Your Single Parent Confidence
Sometimes its Tough Being Different