Reason finally won out. Or perhaps it was just the reality of the situation. Whatever it was, I am grateful my parents finally changed their mind; they finally admitted they can’t take care for Bubbe on their own anymore. For years they had been resistant to putting Bubbe into a nursing home or assisted living or any outside facility, claiming she would be miserable anyplace but their place. We all knew that wasn’t true, but we also knew it was guilt keeping them from making a rational decision and how do you argue with guilt?
Well, it’s a moot point now as Bubbe’s condition has worsened to the point where 24/7 care is necessary. And as active and attentive as my parents are, they can’t be at her beck and call 24/7. So yesterday, after much deliberation, my parents located a facility that could take Bubbe. We haven’t been there yet, but my parents assure me it’s nice. And, even though I don’t think they will admit it, I think they are relieved that her care doesn’t depend on them anymore: that’s a huge responsibility.
My parents say she has good days and bad days. Sometimes they will visit with her and she is almost like she used to be, and then other times she will say and do completely inappropriate things; it can be more than a little unnerving.
I’d like to take the kids so they can visit with Bubbe and perhaps put some cheer into her day (my kids have that effect on me!). But I’m a little nervous to do so. What if Bubbe is really out of it? Or is exhibiting dementia and doesn’t recognize us? Will it scar the kids? Explaining a hurt leg or arm is so much easier to explain. How do you explain a hurt head to a four year-old?