Parents of special needs children often experience depression and frustration over the idea that their child might not be considered “normal.” They want their son or daughter to have the same abilities and opportunities that other children do. This is certainly understandable.
However, I’m writing this blog to encourage parents of special needs children to let go of the concept of “normality.” First of all, I believe it’s a myth. The more we understand about individual differences, the more it becomes clear that there is no such thing as a normal child. But more importantly, children with challenges and difficulties often rise to amazing levels of greatness when given the chance. Especially when parents provide plenty of support and encouragement.
If “normal” means that a child blends into the crowd, having no particular challenges to face, and no character-building struggles, is such a thing desirable anyway?
Thomas Edison
The great Thomas Edison had a late start in his education because of illness. Once he was healthy enough to receive formal schooling, he had such a difficult time paying attention in class that he frustrated his teacher, Reverend Engle. After three months of aggravation, Thomas Edison discontinued his formal education. That’s when his mother, who had worked previously as a school teacher, resolved to educate her son at home. She encouraged him to read, and to do experiments. Thomas Edison later said of his mother, “My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me; and I felt I had something to live for, someone I must not disappoint.”
James Earl Jones
James Earl Jones, the man we know, among other things, as the voice of Darth Vader, suffered with a severe stuttering problem as a child. The problem caused him so much difficulty that he was left virtually mute. Additionally, he was socially awkward and felt quiet and timid around other children. He lacked self-confidence. Yet he was encouraged to pursue acting as a remedy to these problems. Ironically, his voice, which was once a source of great struggle and embarrassment, is now considered one of the richest, most developed, powerful voices of the stage and screen.
Barbara Corcoran
Barbara Corcoran realized when she was in the third grade that she couldn’t read like everyone else. She became an outcast and didn’t fit in to the social circles of the other children in her classes at school. She often daydreamed and lost focus. Her mother chose to give each of her ten children a positive label, and Barbara was known as the “Imagination Child” of the family. Instead of feeling like her learning difficulties made her less able, Barabara grew up believing her ability to think and imagine made her special. This belief eventually lead her to become founder of one of New York City’s largest real estate agencies, with 1200 employees and sales of over five billion dollars. She is also an author and public speaker.
Striving for Excellence: The Power of Parents
Perhaps if these individuals had “normal” childhoods by the world’s standards, they would not have achieved such success. Sure, they were slow and socially awkward in the beginning, but they had the support of parents or family who gave them encouragement and purpose. They grew up believing in themselves, and so they made their lives extraordinary. These are just three of countless examples.
Let’s not forget the powerful role we play as parents. Don’t feel discouraged that your child doesn’t fit somebody else’s definition of normal. Even the most profoundly disabled child can transform the lives of others, and make a lasting contribution to humanity. Convince your child that her life has an important purpose. Show your child that you believe in him. That confidence can carry him a very long way.
Kristyn Crow is the author of this blog. Visit her website by clicking here.